Will he ever know how i atually feel? How jelious i get when he tells me his past, but i have to comfort mself with knowing that i have him know, and will for always an ever. I do get jelious, over little things, but i control it and dont let it show, even when its over powering. I will never let my true emotions show, the worrie, scaredness, that im going to loose everything.
Im so scared to say anything, so scared of the concenquences. I want him to stay,so close. forever and always. and i understand that he will do anything for me, but i jsut want him. Ive wanted this all my life, now its here, but i dont think im exactly ready. but yet i cant let it go, i would never want it to go. Just the fact of knowing that hes there for me, puts so much ease into my heart.
But, so much pain when my words are known. The tears that are soon to follow, the pains that are soon to come. Now they have, how to deal. How am i to comfort him, im not the best with words, but with actions, they say everything. How can i comfort him, when i keep getting tears with all the words i say. I wanna be there for him so bad, but i dont know how to do that. Only one day out of the week to see him, and when school comes around, that will be cut even shorter. yah i talk to him all the time, but my free min start so late, yah i have unlimited txting, but you get your phone taken in school. I wanna hold him so bad, but how am i able to do that when i cause so much pain.
Yah, hell deny all the pain, but i can hear the doubt in the voice. Try to deny that, makes it even more evident.
I wanna make everything right for you, but how am i able to when all you wanna do is make everything right for me. I dont care about my self. All i care about is you. you could walk all over me. And i wouldnt say a word. You could do anything to me, i wouldnt say a word or even show my true emotion.
Yah, weve both have gone threw alot of shit, yours way more worse than mine, and i hate havin you feel so, how do you say it, soo, worried over the little things that happen to me. They dont matter, i dont matter, all that matters is you. You being happy, yah its not right, but oh well, ive had to scrafice myself for the things i want, and all i want is for you to be happy, thats all i ever want. and will ever want, yah it porbly sounds stupid, but it makes so much since to me, try and understand, and try to relize, that all i care about is you.